Partying when 19

Yesterday one of my best friends told me that they are going to a Latin Club with my other best friend. 

I felt left out, and while smiling, it took me a little bit of time to respond utterly. The only words managed to get out of my mouth were: “Oh, cool!” in the fakest excitement I heard.

They are great friends, and the reason I was not invited was that I turned down every invitation to a party for the last two years. I knew at some point they would simply stop asking me to go rather than texting me every time. The only thing I did not calculate was how much it would actually hurt me to hear that they stopped inviting me. 

I am not a party girl. I do not like people gathering around me, crowds, touching bodies with each other all sweaty and drunk. I do not like the way people come and try to dance with you without consent, and even sometimes push themselves on you, as I hear from my friends.  

Me partying once no one pay me attention

I am not a part/club girly. This is a reason for me to follow behind on my friend hang-outs. They are young —me too— and want to party, drink, let themselves go while they can. I would like to do that too. However, that is not me. I cannot force myself to go out and come home even more stressed before going out. Then I would need another weekend to relax!